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Did you ever notice that sometimes we give too many f*cks about things that actually not f*ck worthy? Like we give f*ck about our facebook post will get more likes or not, we give f*ck about what people think about me.
Wouldn’t life be better if we would care less about unimportant stuff? Hey, friends, I have come with a book summary of The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck – A Counterintuitive Approach To Live A Good Life written by Mark Manson.
So, let’s start.
Don’t Try
Many self-help books, youtube motivator, and society constantly teach to give f*ck about unrealistic positive expectations like being happier, be positive, be smarter, be successful.
I often used to do affirmation exercise, saying constantly you are positive, happy, you are smarter, good person but when you stop and think, a positive affirmation may be work but it actually fixating on what we lack. A truly happy or smart person doesn’t need to stand and say himself in front of a mirror that he is happy! He is just.
The world is constantly telling you that way to a better life is more, more and more. Buy more, own more, be more and that is why we give f*ck about buying a better mobile than a friend, getting more marks than others and lot many things. The key to the good life is not giving f*ck about more, its giving f*ck about only what is true and important.
Feedback Loop From Hell
Sometimes you get anxious about a certain thing and you think that you are an anxious person. Now, you are anxious about being anxious. This is a feedback loop from hell. You worry about being a worry, you get angry with yourself about being angry. Not giving an f*ck is key to break this loop. Say yourself,” Ok! I feel guilty but who gives the f*ck about feeling guilty?”
The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck
Our human tendency is to give a fuck about something every time. But, if you are giving too much f*cks about shit things like your hairstyle or facebook profile, it indicates that you don’t have important things to do in your life.
Not giving an f*ck does not mean that you should not care about anything. You must give an f*ck but your fucks must be about things that really matter to you.
Happiness Is A Problem
We often think that if I will get X thing, I can be happy. If I will look like Y person, I can be happy. But this is not true. Even after getting all these things, we remain unhappy and dissatisfied because
dissatisfaction is human nature and it helps to survive and invent.
True happiness comes from solving problems that you enjoy to solve and overcoming pain. Our pain and struggles define our success and happiness. The pain you get from doing exercise creates an energetic body. The pain you get from hurt failings makes you emotionally strong.
You Are Not Special
A lot of people constantly says that every person is born to do extraordinary things and achieve greatness. Is it really true? According to the author, it is not. Accepting you are average and doing things that you love without being judged by someone else will give you ultimate happiness.
You Are Always Choosing
We measure our success by using some metrics like money, respect, happiness etc. If we fail to fit in that metric we see yourself as a failure and that is why choosing the right kind of metric or value is important.
Failure Is The Way Forward
Failure is the most important part of our life. The way towards improvement is by the passing station of failure. How we see the failure totally depends on metric or value we choose to measure it. For ex. If I run a website to make money and if I fail to make enough money then it is a failure and if instead of money, the experience is metric that I choose then even after getting little money make feel me successful.
