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In the beginning of the twentieth century, George Bernard Shaw portrayed marriage as the reason for two people to come together. His comments were comical about being marriaged and that a couple was suppose to become married because of specific reasons, one being profound love. He believed that intense, profound love, and being married until death do them part was a sort of fantasy.
In the past it was unique for a couple to get married. Although some historians and other researchers used to believe that falling in love to get married was an Western invention.
People have fell in love throughout history and been married just because they simply loved one another. When this transpired it was a danger to crucial social order. The Greek philosopher Plato believed that “love was a wonderful emotion that led men to behave honorably (Stephanie Coontz pg 378).
Some societies assumed that falling in love after a couple was married was better. If a society approved of love marriage, it could destroy their commitment to family, neighbors, or God.
The Greeks and them Medieval era seen love sickness as a type of “insanity” and that it was disturbing to an individual. Later in the Middle Ages the French
decided that love was an imbalance to the mind, that could be cured by sexual intercourse. By doing this you could move on to more important concerns. The most famous love affair during that Middle Ages and happened with Peter Abelard and Heloise. This couple eloped without marrying, with Heloise having Peter’s child. Heloise refused to the idea that her uncle proposed about them getting married, she stated that it would undermine their love for one another.
Many cultures thought is was inappropriate for a man to kiss his wife in front of anyone. The couple was suppose to keep their love under strict control with no public exposures. Some Roman and Greek philosophers said that a man who loved his wife with “excessive” ardor was a “adulterer” said Coontz. During the Medieval era Muslims were more approving of sexual intercourse between a man and his wife, while Christians believed that it would weaken their relationship with God. Many cultures still dislike putting love first in the marriage. Coontz stated,” that she did not believe that people of the past had more control over hearts as we do today, but love in marriage then was a bonus not a necessity like we try to achieve in marriages today“(Stephanie Coontz pg 381)
A married couple who clearly loved one another did not mean it would always work out. A Roman statesman wrote his wife of thirty years numerous of love letters, but love and those letters did not prevent him from divorcing her when he could not adapt to the way she provided for him. Europeans believed that he who married for love would have good and bad days.
Living happily every after is term we used for today’s marriages. Happily ever after has its common understanding that married couples should live the rest of their lives that way. That understanding consists of: They must love one another deeply and choose each other , each must make the partner top priority in life, put their relationship above all other competing ties, parents and in-laws should not interfere with the relationship, the married couple should be best friends, they should talk to each other about problems, and be sexually faithful to one another.
The revolutionary implications of the love match were people who established new ideas about love. In the Western hemisphere they started to believe in companionship, intimacy ,and true love. They wanted to make marriage more secure and put loyalties and affection first. Critics of the love match argued about this new idea. They thought that choosing their own companion would just spin out of control. After the Revolutionary War there was separation of church and state. Preachers could no longer invade on people’s private lives to make sure the right people got married and had children or to stop the wrong ones from doing so Coontz stated.
Marriage between a couple should be linked with companionship, intimacy, and true love. I agree with Coontz about choosing the partner you want to marry. Your marriage should be fulfilled with love and intimacy. In life you choose how you want to live it and most people want to be happy, so in choosing the person you love and that makes you happy, will lead to a happier and healthier lifestyle. If other people had to choose the person you wanted to marry, it could cause you to be depressed and see no point in life because you do not get to make one of the bigger decisions of your life.
People find the person they marry at different times in their life. Some may be really young in their late teens to early twenties and others in their early thirties and up. This is no rules or regulations to when you should find that right person. Although there are reasons why people should marry for love. First you should marry someone you get along with well and enjoy being with. Secondly you marry that person because you have a intimate relationship and your sexually attracted to them. Last you should know in you heart who your true love is and that is the person you should marry and spend the rest of you life with.
