The Best Friend Suicide Amigo, comrade, partner, main squeeze, pal, bro, homie, and dawg are all words used to describe our friends. Abraham Lincoln once said “a friend is one who has the same enemies you have,” but friends are so much more than that. Our friends are our life source. Virtually anyone anywhere has a friend of some sort, and life as we know it would completely transform without them. Friends aid you in times of need, listen and understand when you yearn for another human Just to consult with, and even help you grow as an individual.
Friends are those who you allow to get close to you, ho know your secrets, and who keep their promise to never tell a soul. Now imagine all that, multiplied by ten, and packaged conveniently into one person. This is not Just a friend, but your best friend; the person you love most. Now, imagine that that person has died. “Derek! ” I shout as loud as I virtually can over an angry text message, “IVe had it! I’m so done with today.
I need to clean something, so I’m coming over. The only time I ever call D-Rok by his full name is when I’m so beyond mad that the “D” and the “Rok” of his nickname collide together to create the sound of his birth name. I’m sure he already knows what’s wrong, he always does, so I slip my giraffe Toms on my feet, grab my keys, slam my door, and stomp down the stairs of my apartment complex. My mood starts to lift at the beauty of the day, but on the way to my car I briefly trip over a crack in the sidewalk, which immediately reminds me of my rage for this cursed day.
With my new-found memory, I slide in my car, forget the seatbelt, chuck my phone, and blast my radio as I speed, enraged, down the street to D-Roks house. Immediately once I walk in the door, my mood is completely flipped. I’m greeted by Jordan, his 5 year-old angel of a daughter, and his warm embrace. “It’s today, isn’t it? ” he asks, “Todays the day Stephan took his life some years ago. ” Stephan was the man I was going to marry. He was my soul mate, and he completely destroyed me when he did what he did.
I say nothing, but I know he understands once my tears run like raindrops onto his shirt. “l promise I’ll never hurt you the way he did,” he says, and holds me some more. “As my best friend, you better not! ” I tease him. I remember that day vividly, and have looked back on it several times since finding out Derek has gone missing. August 13th was the last time IVe heard from him. Now his brother, our friends, and I have been searching for him since. It’s been three days, and in the silence of the search for Derek, I read his last text over and over. l love you, and I appreciate the person you are. ” Out in the middle of the desert, we sit, we wait, and we worry. Search and Rescue, armed forces, and metro all arrive on the scene to help out the search for our missing friend. “Where are you? ” I ponder in silence, and all suddenly, the silence stops. The moment I am told, I am on my knees. Tears, snot, and other unidentifiable liquids are streaming from my face. “How could you! ” I shout, miou promised! Derek promised he’d never hurt me like Stephan did, but he lied. He knew exactly what he was doing. In killing himself, he killed me. I lay in the desert, nearly a mile from where the body was found, and literally fall apart. The only thing I could text message he sent. think ot was that the last ext t message he sent me, was the last These are the last known words “l love you, and I appreciate the person you are. ” from Derek to anybody before his departure. But why tell someone when your time on Earth is through?
I know he appreciated me our entire friendship, and he knew I did too. I know now that ultimately, there was nothing I could have done. As his best friend, I did literally everything I could for him. I may have come to terms, but I’m never going to stop being sad because I miss my friend. Even so, I will always be content knowing I showed D-Rok as much love and appreciation as I could throughout our friendship, as should everyone.